i know its early but so what??

im in a mess already..

or maybe i have been for quite some time now..

the problem has been bugging me since forever..

same old matter..

the guy,i broke up with him like one and a half month ago..

at that time,that girl had already started to text him..

her excuse was to ask him to do a favour for her..

whtever. that bitch has always been a liar.

then the guy broke up with me partly coz our relationship wasn’t at its best, then maybe coz of that girl too.

i dunno.

wht i knw, when i knw she was aggresively going after him, i totally threw all my feelings for him into the sea. i practically hated him like i loved him. the feeling was overwhelming. finding out how much he changed. and how much he blamed me and said it was me that changed. the heartbreak left me in tears for 24hours straight. i didn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. then when i found out how he responded to her. the rage was just unbearable and almost impossible to control. finding out wht a hypocrite he is. it’s just pure pity that he can’t see it himself.

then..

i had let it all go..

and let them both have their way..

why waste my energy..

then suddenly he texted me again..

well i was hesitant for awhile. but then i did. in a tone that was jst pure me. not holding anything back. just like how i was with everyone else. then he replied and we talked. i asked about her. and he said he didn’t like her at all. now it has been a little over one week since that day. and we are supposedly quite close and he supposedly isn’t close to her anymore.

that girl said sorrie to me but on her friggin blog she blamed me for everything. and she said he was the one to make the first move for everything. mygod. how many faces does she have??

then yesterday, i have no idea what happened to the guy. there just wasn’t any response. to me or his friends. and we assumed he fell asleep. i jst texted him last nite. a long one. i just asked for the truth. because i do wonder. did he actually like her? because if he didn’t he could have said it to her. all his actions let the girl assume that he likes her, which i won’t blame her for. what exactly does he mean now? he wants to pick her over me again? or some one else again?

“in the end,everythings gonna fall back on me. the pain. betrayal. same as before. all falling back on me. u wanna pick her over me again? wht do u want??”

he knws i’ll always love him. i may be with someone else. (but hardly possible) but that spot in my heart will still be there. its for him and no one can fill it. he knws it. he knws that i my feelings wont change for him. i will love him till forever. no matter how much he doesnt wanna believe me. but its true.. FOREVER, and i’ve only ever said it to him.

“for always being the one standing by you,this is what i get isn’t it?? u like her. like her so much. u shudnt have contacted me at all. just hug, kiss and do all the things u’ve done with me, with her. coz once again. u hurt me all over again. or maybe im just the stupid one to have trusted u at all.”

THINK. FEEL. that’s all i can say to u..